You Are Enough…
I have banned the word sorry in my support sessions. Not the kind of sorry that’s an apology for having wronged someone. The kind of sorry where you apologies that life got in the way, the sorry we only did that activity once because Beth’s been waking up at 3am every morning. The ‘I know I need to do more writing but once I’ve got Tom dressed for school there’s not much time left’ kind of sorry.
The ‘autism and life got in the way’ kind of sorry.
If there is one things I never doubt it’s how much a parent loves their child and tries to do their best for them. I personally think parenting is the hardest job in the world and the only one that you don’t get any training for. Our ideas about parenting, any knowledge and skill we may have is usually what we’ve gained from our own experiences of being parented or watching friends and family do it. Add onto that autism and the chance are you have very little previous experience to draw upon.
There will be days when it goes brilliantly, the kids do everything you ask, they don’t fight, they don’t cry, you make it to bed time without a meltdown and they are asleep in minutes. Then there will be those which feel like you’ve fought world war 1, 2 and 3 simultaneously. That no matter what master plan you came up with you were always going to lose. But whichever it is, at the end of either day you are enough. You have done the best you can with the resources you have. No one is perfect, life is not perfect but you are enough.
Sometimes when the bad days come, day after day, it can feel relentless, like you are stuck in the mud going nowhere fast. It can be hard to see the small successes in among the tough stuff. To find the energy to keep on going. You forget how far you’ve come already.
You forget that you are enough.
In the tough times it’s important to try and find the little successes, to remember how far you have come. You could try keeping a journal, nothing fancy, just somewhere each day you can write down one thing that was tricky and at least one thing that went well. Then when things are tricky, take a moment and flick back; a week, a month or maybe more and you’ll be reminded of all the little wins you’ve had. You’ll see that yesterday’s struggles have become today’s successes. You’ll be reminded that you are enough.
Videos are great to. They can instantly transport us back to a moment in time, we can relive that moment, really feel the emotion. And the best things about videos is they don’t lie. Yes, you’re right they don’t let us look at things with rose tinted glasses but likewise they stop our view from being clouded. They help you remember it like it really was. Like the journal, they remind you of your victories. Of the journey you have been on.
They remind you that you are enough.
